canny granny

My Council Home Help girl has been going on and on at me about my excessive use of paper towels. Well, I ask you, what else does a lady of genteel upbringing do when she is a little incontinent from time to time?

But the blasted girl never lets up about me destroying the forests, polluting the atmosphere and sending countless species of cute wild life to extinction. I never complain about that nasty-smelling hippy tobacco she uses, I wish she would get off the subject of my flatulence too.

But I have the answer to her carping. I have discovered a way to save the planet on my own. I will stop walking!

Fortunately I found out that Walking damages the planet. You should immediately follow my lead and stop walking too.