canny granny

United States Patent 4496329
Abstract:

A toy adapted to be activated by water from a garden hose.

A nozzle assembly at the bottom of a bowl directs water into and agitates water in the bowl while directing a jet of water vertically upwardly from within the bowl.

Balls floating on the agitated water are randomly drawn by the jet into the inlet end of a tube supported above the water level around the jet, and are then propelled upwardly through the tube by the jet so that they will amuse or can be caught by children playing under the water jet.

Children playing under the water jet?

If, on one of those days when the temperature is over 40 celsius ( 104 fahrenheit), I dared to allow a grandchild to play with water from the hose, I would be run out of town on a rail.

Maybe there are places in the world where water still falls out of the sky.

An advertising world first has been launched in London - pitvertising.

The innovative new concept uses digital TV screens built into the armpits of shirts with a hired team of ‘Pitvertisers’ sent out into the streets of London to test the new medium.

I must say it would be a lot more interesting if classic movies, or reruns of old TV shows, could be played on the screens. It would certainly make the journey less monotonous.

Passers-by were reportedly amazed by the new marketing tactic - some were clearly impressed; but others thought it the pits…

What’s an old ( insert word of your choice) like myself doing on Facebook, you say? Simple. I enjoy it.

I will take this opportunity to apologise for throwing that sheep at you. Sorry, but when you sent all those petunias, eggs and promises of knighthood it almost drove me to drink.

Those bloody awful apps would force me to sign up! I would spend an hour sorting referrals, invites, updates and martinis on the lookout for some actual communication.

But relief is at hand. In the new Facebook, apps will no longer be allowed to force users to invite friends for anything. Good show. Read more… »

Police in Eastern Romania were engaged in a routine roadside vehicle check when they pulled over - guess who? Robert de Niro.

However closer scrutiny revealed that the ‘Star’ had forged ID papers.

Flash car, designer suit and sunglasses aside, police say they smelled a rat when the ‘Celebrity’ spoke with a marked Central European accent.

“We guessed that Robert de Niro would not be driving alone around this remote part of the country”, said a police spokesperson. “And he just didn’t sound right.”

It was revealed later that the crook has been providing fake IDs to people from Modolva who want to work in Western Europe. I wonder what their IDs were? Dennis Hopper? Bela Lugosi? Maybe the Modolvans, or Modolvanians (where the heck is Modolva?) don’t get many movies.

If I were to get a false ID of this calibre, it would be my luck to pick up the papers for Phyllis Diller.