Canny Granny

With all of these new sightings of Mary (the BVM) around the globe, I’ve been searching for a Holy Apparition myself.

Surely someone like myself, the original rose-petal strewer at St Fidelis parish church and steeped from an early impressionable age in the lore and worship of Mary, Mother of God, would be one of the blessed throng who see her image everywhere?

But no! I’ve looked at every chocolate drop I’ve spilled, checked the fat and grease in my griller regularly, scrutinised potato and banana peels, upended turtles and stared longingly at hospital windows and slices of toast – waiting for a sign. Nothing. Zilch. Nada.

But all the time, the miracle was in my own garden!

Only this morning, as I was pondering the sad fate of my parsley – gone to seed somewhat like myself – a quick burst of sunlight through the morning fog revealed to me the miraculous shape on an old garden log.

Yes! Mickey Mouse!

Clearly, this is a holy apparition of Mickey, he who also played such a large part in my childhood. I can still belt out the Mickey Mouse Club songs just as readily as I can warble ‘Mary, Mother, Sweetest Best’.

Should I offer it on eBay?

Spare a shilling for a glass of sweet sherry

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