Canny Granny

You ever been to a Papal Mass? It’s really easy to get in. No ID required, and the security guards don’t even pretend to protect the Pope.

They rely on God to do so.

On Christmas Eve in 2008, a woman tried to leap on the old pontiff at a particular spot in St. Peter’s Basilica. She was stopped moments before she reached him.

Just for the record, she was wearing a cherry red jacket with a hood.

This Christmas Eve, 2009, in the very same spot and wearing the very same jacket, the very same little Red Riding Hood pounced on the pontiff again!

This time she tackled him to the ground in front of the somewhat startled congregation. And even more startled security guards.

What she planned to do once she got him in her clutches is anybody’s guess. I know what I’d do, but that’s neither here nor there.

My first thought was that she would turn out to be a disgruntled Australian fed up with the shilly-shallying over our first prospective home-grown Saint, but the woman can’t even spell Mother Mary MacKillop!

The Pope wasn’t harmed, a loss of dignity only, however he’s a very old chap and the sudden shock, not to mention the rugby tackle, could have been his last earthly experience.

I wonder what Susanna Maiolo hoped to achieve by flooring the old fellow. Did she plan to strangle or to smooch, or was it a wager?

More seriously, I wonder if there’s a push to find a martyr for the Vatican. That would bump up the numbers of the faithful for sure.

Third time lucky?

Spare a shilling for a glass of sweet sherry

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