canny granny

Does a new career beckon?

I couldn’t fail but to be a little excited by this advertisment :

Wanted: 20 diminutive actors who can sing. Hairy feet an advantage.

Producers of a musical version of “The Lord of the Rings”, looking for candidates to play the hobbit heroes, are searching for male and female actors and singers aged between 16-35 who must be under five feet seven inches. Hairy toes and feet are a distinct advantage.

Is five foot seven short? I’m some four inches under that height, and although I’ve never really considered myself diminiuitive, I wouldn’t be surprised if they knocked me back from getting a place in a basketball team.

As for the hairy feet, well .. the old bogey Change of Life takes care of any hitherto bald feet. I read all about hair and things in Menopause and Hair and I’d rather keep my slippers on thank you very much.

Scientists are already working on Fly Feet for Rock Climbers so that some daredevils in search of a Darwin Award can, like flies, walk on walls or ceilings. Gross stuff, but only to be expected from the younger generation.

In the meantime, I’m opening my jar of 50 cent pieces and checking the fare to London. As soon as I have a little glass of sweet sherry to calm down. Cheers, dears.

Are these people cankling?

Are these people cankling? Doing a cankle? Having a cankle? (or even experiencing a cankling good time?) Are they Canklers? Or are they cankling whankers?

But I will discover, Gentle Reader, the nature of the cankle. I would hate to inadvertently offend an old Cankler

Is this a cankle?

So is this a cankle? It looks more like someone has been in the sun without protection.

Just last week at Bingo we were discussing how the young people of today always talk about protection. Even when doonah-dancing. These things never crossed our mind when we were snogging up the back of the hall.

Is this a cankle?

Is this a cankle? I haven’t seen one in years but they were once popular with the spongecake and shandy set.