canny granny

A Governor General worthy of respect

We have had some doozies of Governors General in Australia.

If you don’t know the position, it’s the symbolic head of state, and I think the only other place left with this archaic position is Canada which still has a Gouverneur General, or actually a Gouverneure Generale, Her Excellency Michaelle Jean.

But as I said, we have had some pathetic jerks in this exalted spot. Like Sir John Kerr (aka John Cur), a man fond of a drink or three, who dismissed the Labor government of Gough Whitlam on 11 November 1975, creating the most significant constitutional crisis in our history.

Then there was Archbishop Peter Hollingworth who failed to act against a retired bishop who sexually interfered with a 14-year-old girl because he didn’t want to reduce the offending bishop’s capacity to earn money.

These men did much to inflame public opinion against our involvement with the British Crown.

But yesterday we overcame the past. No more mongrels as Governor General!
Instead we have the remarkable Quentin Bryce, prominent lawyer, academic and womens’ activist. Her appointment ends 107 years of male dominated tradition.

Congratulations to Bryce, Australia’s first female governor-general.

And about bloody time we got one worthy of respect!

Undergoing MyBlogLog Verification

Happy Birthday, Elvis

It’s a nice age, 72. A nice round figure, probably along the lines of his figure now. I’m quite sure he would have lost all those pounds he was carrying 30 years ago, (well he has, hasn’t he?)

My friend Reg who knows a lot about fillies is 72. It’s not a bad age for a man as long as they aren’t too fit if you know what I mean. Nothing worse than having some old codger try and chat you up, why some of them bother I’m sure I don’t know. I don’t know how some of them can live with themselves, all carpetslippers, cardigans and clacking teeth.

There’s an otherwise charming gentleman who goes to Bingo who keeps asking me out dancing -ha! I know what that means - a lady can always tell if a chap is being fresh.

But I forget what I’m writing about.  Ah yes, Elvis. I wonder what Elvis would be doing now if he weren’t 6 foot under? Singing awful Gospel songs? Now if he asked me out dancing I might consider it.

Plucky Pensioner at Large

This plucky pensioner led police on a low-speed chase around Middlesbrough, England - and then gave officers the slip.

The lukewarm pursuit started after he caused traffic chaos by crawling down the fast lane of a busy dual carriageway.

Police asked the stubborn senior citizen to pull over. But he defiantly cranked his battery-powered mobility scooter up to its top speed - 8mph - and somehow managed to escape their attention by zooming up onto a roundabout where he got away from the red-faced officers.

One onlooker said he couldn’t believe his eyes as he watched the chase unfold on the A1032 Newport Bridge Approach Road : “The police tried to pull him up but he issued them with a lot of profanities.”, said Ian, a common sense walker, “They asked us, ‘scuse me - have you seen a bloke on an electric scooter?”.

A police van joined the pursuit of the battery-powered scooter. and the cops eventually caught up with the gallant pensioner. He didn’t get quite as far as Pensioner Ludwick Z whose journey is still a mystery, but my hat goes off to this determined scooter rider.

I bet the cops who captured him are the toast of the nick.

I live near a football ground and, although I have…

I live near a football ground and, although I have nothing against football fans, sometimes their manners after a game aren’t the best. Like taking a leak in my front garden.

Well, I think I’ve found the answer. Austrian officials fed up with motorists stopping to urinate by the roadside have put up fake snake warnings to scare them into using toilets. The idea is that men stop to relieve themselves, see the warning about snakes, and put their own snake back in their trousers.

So, where can I get one?