canny granny

You cannae shove your Granny off a bus

Catching a bus is always an interesting experience.

In my long ago student days I used buses as labs, jotting notes for psychology class, observing both the individual reactions and the collective consciousness of passengers. Many a time I tweaked results by traveling with a paper bag on my head, or by practicing juggling with oranges.

You could say I feel comfy. Relaxed and right at home on a bus.

So it came as a shock today when I was bumped off my bus .. two stops before I wanted to get off!

I was standing near to the back door (no one gives up a seat these days, not even for a genial gentlewoman of middle years with a shopping basket) when a young man suddenly leaped to his feet, pulled the cord, and charged toward the exit.

In his rush to disembark, like a sort of human tidal wave, he took me with him.

What’s worse, when I recovered my equilibrium (and my hat) and mildly remonstrated on his brusque behaviour, he told me that he had not seen me!.

I wanted to tell him to wash his mouth out with soap (or preferably with quick drying cement) but hey! I’m a lady. He’s lucky I didn’t make his penis disappear which, as you know, is very common on buses in some parts of the world. You don’t believe me? Take a look at the Penis Theft on Bus

And remember, you cannae shove your granny off a bus.

P.S. For advice about manners on a bus, see Etiquette on Buses

Bus Stop from Hell

Have you ever sat fuming in a bus stop? I have. I check my watch. I read the timetable on the wall. I check my watch again. I get up to look down the road with the concentration usually practiced by a sailor in a crows nest looking for sight of land.

But residents of a nursing home in Dusseldorf have a bus stop from Hell. Not one single bus stops there! It’s a farce, a trick to get the poor old codgers plonked down in the seat awaiting a non-existent bus.

Apparently they’re happy, after waiting some time, to be coaxed back inside for a nice cup of tea. It would take more than a cup of tea to calm me down.

Staff say that the elderly Errants wait for a trip home at the bus stop, only to forget why they were there in the first place. Poor old buggers, as if life isn’t hard enough without waiting interminably for a bus.
newest.com.au