canny granny

How I discovered Bigfoot

Are you sadly disappointed that the Bigfoot carcass turned out to be a gorilla suit? And a damp, smelly gorilla suit at that.

The whole affair would have just been marvelous fun if Tom Biscardi, the man who has spent years searching for the elusive hominid had not gone completely off his nut about it. Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer claim their hoax was not for profit, but Biscardi says he paid them $50,000. (Half their luck!)

Mr Biscardi, I take this opportunity to announce my discovery of Bigfoot - alive and well and living in Australia. These size 17 feet pictured here belong to Ian Thorpe, swimmer extraordinaire. I can produce the body once I work out a way to get past his security staff. I’ve tried to gain entry in the guise of a gas meter reader but they saw through me. The pizza delivery didn’t do the trick either.

Although he may be a little difficult to nab with my over-sized butterfly net, I can always give it a go. An advance payment from your good self would greatly facilitate a speedy capture.

How about it? Or should I get something onto YouTube first?

On the other hand there is an authentic non-swimming, non-celeb, Bigfoot in Australia .. the Yowie, Sasquatch of the South